(no subject)

I wonder. If what I choose to become (and this is the heaviest suggestion from most of my teachers and influences I've spoken to) is a music producer, will I have to make choices I hate, commercialized choices, so that the band/s do well?

I think that's probably why I'm so upset by the choices being made with Gorillaz lately. Because I know that Phase III would not be doing well if it weren't for the heavier financial touting to fans. I'm afraid of having to do the same so that deserving people get noticed.

I want to work with lesser known acts. With smaller labels, that will generally mean a music producer also has to perform as an executive producer, unless they have no ambition. It becomes a matter of choice, then: compromise my beliefs by ignoring what comes after the music, or compromise my ideals by doing what may need to be done?

...wow, I think I just proved Gorillaz's own case in the heavy commercialization this time to myself, after a push from Stella. GOOD JOB, ME.

(lol, why is stella always the voice of reason, lately? P-CHAN, YOU'RE FALLING BEHIND ON BEING JIMINY CRICKET).

I just want to go back to marveling that people like Doodle better now that we know her name, but still never use it. Gorillaz is supposed to be where I never have to act like an adult, what is this?! I don't start studying for my music and radio production degree until January, dammit! :P

all your words are perjury

You ever have any moments where you're sitting there thinking, 'this is probably going to end badly, I should not be doing this, bad end' and yet that's in the back part of your brain, so you're not paying attention to instincts screaming at all?

We have a can opener that claims to cut cans so that they aren't sharp and can't hurt anyone. You can probably see where this is going. The top was stuck and the opener wouldn't take it off like it was supposed to. So, you know, pull it, twist it, etc. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THIS. I had a similar experience in elementary school where we were cutting textiles and the teacher always said 'CUT WITH THE BLADE GOING OUTWARDS, NOT TOWARDS YOU', and ended up nailing my own thumb because I ignored her instructions. Yeah, over a decade later, I still have a scar from that.

Top pops off! Two things happen at the same time: the top runs across my finger and the can spills tuna water all over the resulting cut. It's not a wide enough cut for stitches to do any good, so I don't know what I would have been able to do if the bleeding hadn't stopped. As it was, it felt like it took fifteen minutes to stop it from bleeding profusely, but being a child by the internet age, I can look at timestamps to get an accurate time. It took an hour. The only thing I had to try to stauch the bleeding was my Gorillaz shirt, which I can get the blood off of, but it is now war-battered. My poor shirt. D:

I stopped being accident prone for so long. Now in the span of 48 hours, I've dislocated two fingers (one partially by writing using a pen), sprained my left wrist and caused the chronic condition in my right to start acting up, and sliced a finger. What the fuck?

I don't know what to do if something like this happens again. I mean, letting it bleed badly for an hour was stupid. But I didn't feel I could justify going anywhere as it wasn't wide enough for stitches. It must be a deep cut, I guess? I'll call my doctor's office tomorrow to see if you have to do anything different for deep cuts versus wide ones.

Wow, I really really suck.

the call is coming from inside your house

( what a dangerous penguin )

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